The Dying Time

October 1, 1997
In writing his guide, Klein draws on his extensive experience as a family therapist as well as his personal relationship with his 90-year-old father and the recent death of his mother. His examples and recommendations are both intriguing to read and practical. Klein explains recurring themes that confront adult children of aging parents, such as managing communication, unresolved feelings, emotional sensitivity, and the well-being of the caregiver. Later he recaps the five stages of dying identified by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Klein writes with empathy and ease, succeeding in presenting ideas to assist and encourage the growing number of us who want to accept the change from child to loving caregiver with courage and grace. Once the reader adjusts to its upbeat tone, The Dying Time offers hope and a unique point of view. Furman (holistic nursing, Vanderbilt Univ.) is a nurse practioner who has witnessed more than 1000 deaths; McNabb is a lawyer and AIDS activist. Hopeful in the extreme, this duo views death as "the last dance of life...not an end, but a new beginning." Cynics may challenge Furman's belief that she knows "that life continues after the death of the body," and some might say that she states the obvious when advising choosing music for the sickroom that avoids sudden tempo changes or gets "spooky or loud." However, suggestions abound for the mental, spiritual, and physical peace of both the dying and the caregiver. Many lists outline practical steps that can ease daily stress, including tips on how to write an obituary, scripts for creative imagery, and a foot reflexology chart. Touching personal stories are also included. Overall, the messages in this concise little book are practical, clear, and comforting. Well suited for the general reader, both books are recommended for all public libraries.--Catherine T. Charvat, John Marshall Lib., Alexandria, Va.